As some of y'all know, we have Blcokbuster Online at my house. Their service sort of, well, SUCKS. So I took the liberty of writing a nice little complaint letter to them:
Dear Blockbuster Online,
Once upon a time, long ago, I had a dog named Chubby. Chubby was a delightful, slim chocolate Lab who always fetched tennis balls and the like with no need for any sort of obedience training. However, due to the unthinkable emotional and psychosomatic strain brought on by his unfortunate moniker- which was actually short for "Chubermeister", my grandfather's name- Chubby developed an eating disorder and died. Right before he passed away, Chubby stopped fetching tennis balls, frisbees, and even those little rubber chew toys that smell like gasoline.
Your service is much like Chubby's fetching in those later years- gobsmackingly poor. Like Chubby, I hope you die a sad and painful death. Good DAY, sir.
*note: I didn't actually send this. Though I really, really wanted to.
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