Saturday, November 29, 2008

Turkey...No Turkey! Turkey...No Turkey! Turkey...and...No Turkey!

My internet today has been rather like the Harry quote referenced in the, no network! network! and...still no network! But finally it seems to be working because I unplugged my laptop and went somewhere else, so here's a sweet song from Michael's "The Rising" days:

This is actually one of their unreleased songs, though for the life of me I can't understand why they'd keep this hidden away while putting junk like "Yesterdays" on their album. I think the record company had quite a bit to do with that.

Tom, Dick, and Harry

This actually isn't a crazy coincidence...

because you know the idiom "every Tom, Dick, and Harry"? Meaning "the average guy"? Yeah. That's why they named the 3rd Rock characters that way. But still, it's very funny and apt.

A Dan Band Christmas

Oh god. This is too perfect. Try to spot all of the celebrities. One of them in particular. Who I don't think you'll miss. THANK YOU, DAN BAND! And there wasn't even any profanity this time!

At the end, when the screen tips over? Guess who I can definitely hear laughing? Not Dan. Hahahahaha.

*Ironically, when I watched this on Crackle, there was one of those obnoxious looped video ads for Quantum of Solace playing, so I was hearing something like "Kill them with kindness..." *CRASH!* *BOOM!* *BURNING BUILDINGS!* until I figured out how to mute the ad.

Friday, November 28, 2008


(This is a guest post. If this is your first time visiting my blog, don't be alarmed. We don't bite. Unless you're a particularly tasty morsel of humanity.)




(want more? yeah. that's what i thought. just wait....)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

YOUR Hides Can Only Be Used to Make Coward Pants!

Grrr. It seems that the pictures of Michael at the 'Australia' premiere aren't showing up, so just go here and bring a drooble (remember that priceless combo?) :

On a side note, I really like this idea of naming random blog posts with 3rd Rock quotes. I should call the next Engrish post: And Yet, An Awful Amount of Chinese Seem to Choose to Live In China


You know what happens when you combine this:

with this:

and a ridiculous amount of hard work that included disturbingly headless people and necks so distorted they could have been feet? A photoshop happens. Specifically, THIS happens.

Incidentally, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to see a movie like that because seriously- BACON!!!- and I'm very proud of myself. You know that font? It's just Arial Black. Yeah. Simple to copy. But then I saw the little white rims around the words and tried to emulate them on the "B" and "C", which took 30 minutes. No exaggeration. And now Blogger uploaded the image so small you CAN'T EVEN SEE MY HARD WORK! But seriously. Putting in the head took 5 minutes. Ironic.

I'm not even sure why I did this...I think Ancient Greece might have had something to do with it, though...

Well, That's News to ME!

You know another thing I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving? ENGRISH. Just enjoy.

When Harry Potter decided to take a more scholarly route in life...

Er...wise words?

Sometimes advertisements can be a little TOO truthful, you know?

Happy Thanksgiving

People are geniuses. Somebody compiled the funniest moments of the 3rd Rock From the Sun Thanksgiving episode into 5-minute video. Enjoy. Although I do think they left out a few moments- Harry putting the turkey on his head was priceless.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

With Cheese

I have no idea how I didn't find this earlier. Well, I did...two years ago, when it was released...but I never got past the first few minutes and so I didn't have the opportunity to scream, "ZOMG! IS NIIIIICE!" Enjoy.

Perfect Symmetry

Gawd. I love Keane. This is the single "Perfect Symmetry" off of their latest album..."Perfect Symmetry."

The song actually has a sort of deeper feel for me after seeing this video; or maybe it's just because I got overtired while learning parallel planes in Geometry and started thinking deep thoughts.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Michael at the Premiere of Australia

Pretty straightforward. Enjoy.

Rowan Atkinson + John Cleese

Can comedy get much better than this???

For the love of all things Dan...Happy Dan Day!

For those who weren't immediately amused by the title of this post: I'm sorry. You're probably not going to find most of this funny, unless you just find the name "Dan" amusing in its own right. Feel free to scroll down to the video at the bottom if you lose track of my nonsensical ramblings.

I have officially decided that since we have a rather overflowing amount of inside jokes related to the various Dans/Dan noises, Tuesday will officially be Dan Day. Yes. When Chase kept saying "It's Tuesday!", he wasn't actually expressing his love for Cameron OR his skill at calendar-reading. Oh no.

But today I have learned, earth-shatteringly, there are many elements to the Dan folklore besides the bidelly-bobbelly-noises and gorillas and camping-supply stores. In fact, there is actually QUITE A LARGE NUMBER of people, places, and organizations titled with those three letters. For instance, there's Dan the Marxist revolutionary, an anarchist network that ended up dissolving into actual, you know, ANARCHY, and the lovely Dan River in Virginia:

I find it most suspicious that on the entire Official Dan River website, there is not a single picture of the actual river. Does it even exist? Maybe it's just slightly wet mud IN DISGUISE as a river.

Mm hmm.

Dan is also a kibbutz in northern Israel:

And to save the most amusing for last, there's a Divers Alert Network whose lovely website has such priceless phrases as:
"Join DAN Today!"
"DAN Medical Calls" (IS DAN A DOCTOR, TOO???)
"DAN Online Auction"
"DAN Members get more with TravelAssist."

You're welcome, people. By the way, did I mention how much I love Wikipedia disambiguation pages? Great stuff.

And now because I'm too lazy to do actual WORK and research more Dans for ya (or, you know, that humongous Ancient Greece project...), sit back and marvel at just how unfunny Jay Leno can be. I'm serious. He just IRRITATES me with his block-shaped jawline and constant preening. It's not just when he interrupts his guests in order to show off his brilliant humor that I'm annoyed; that opening skit would actually be kind of FUNNY if someone else were doing it.

Anyway. I better go back to researching Pericles and that stupid democracy stuff now. So enjoy the first- I kid you not- the first* video that came up when I searched "Dan" on Youtube.

*Nope, it certainly wasn't the FIRST first, but it was the first that somehow pertained to any inside joke and/or didn't consist of strange people staring vacantly into their webcams, which seems to be the majority of Youtube videos nowadays. Great. Now I sound old. And then, around page 3, Youtube decided to "translate" my search and it searched for "then" instead. Yes, Youtube. I accidentally misspelled "then" as "Dan". Thanks for clearing that up.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Pachelbel Rant

Very funny.

Monday Wretchedness

I was originally going to call this post "Monday Fun", but for some reason Blogger went all funny on me and I couldn't embed pictures, so now "Monday Wretchedness" it is.

Bleh. Monday. Snow. Cold. Wet hair (swimming). I can't even muster up a complete sentence.

So I'll let the funny stuff do my job for me.

GOODNESS. That must be quite prickly.

Ahahaha. It's like one of those "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" skits where they have to be unlikely superheroes...

We pride ourselves on our unique servers.

Vicious stones!

This is kind of main dish., I took these pills, riiiight?

Needs no caption.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

And Certain Kinds of Cheese.

Nope, I'm sorry, this post has nothing to do with cheese. I just remembered a great 3rd Rock From the Sun quote where Harry describes things he's afraid of. Back to schedule programming:

I'm going to get all deep and serious here because I was thinking about this blog, and I realized that while posting other people's videos and other's people's photos and other people's interviews is very convenient and all, it's also kind of lame. And let's face it; my photoshops aren't exactly going to set the world on fire.

So, every now and then, I'll write something! Like this post. Because a blog is a pretty amazing thing. Just think about it. When a writer gets their work to an audience through traditional means- a publisher, a competition- it has to be judged first, then maybe it'll be passed on to the audience. But with a blog, it's the opposite; first a wide audience reads your blog, THEN they judge it.

And maybe they never come back again. Or, worse, they hate it and leave nasty comments. But that's what comment moderation is for! Yep, Big Brother is watching you, folks. Some of your comments will never see the light of day. Particularly the ones advertising 75% OFF DEAL AT DISCOUNT DESIGNER FASHION .COM!!!. I'm sorry, Spambots. You will be censored.

So, anyway, to bring my ramblings to a point: blogs are fun. I'll try to make this blog fun, too. If you're a Nigel and aren't completely obsessed with Michael Johns, that's ok*, because there will be other stuff here. And if you ARE completely obsessed with Michael Johns, or House, or other things that are ASSOCIATE-approved...welcome home! And your name is probably Katie, Layne, or Maya.

*I jest; it is NOT ok. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! Jeez.

My Second Post!

Ok, I PROMISE I'll stop with the 'my - post' stuff soon. Soon.

Continuing the House theme, here's a very funny S.2 blooper reel:

My First Post!

Gosh. My first real post. This is emotional. Also, I'm not sure if the stupid HTML embedding thingy will work, so it's mostly negative emotions.

Well, what better way to kick off this blog than an amusing video or three?

First, the unbeatable classic:


Hello, beeboll! Welcome to my humble blog.

For a while, I've considered creating a blog, purely out of convenience. Because, let's face it, sharing information with people is tough. Facebook is awesome. Also, my mom doesn't have a Facebook, so I have to repeat all of the awesome stuff through Yahoo Mail, thus defeating the point of the awesome stuff. Only SOME OF MY FRIENDS don't check their emails, so back to Facebook it is! And let's not even start with Youtube and photo sharing.

So, I realized that the quickest, easiest method of getting stuff out to people would be a blog! And who knows? Maybe somebody outside of my current 4-reader radius will actually be mildly amused by my ramblings! Ok, ok, I jest...

Anyway, check back often for an eclectic mishmash of Michael Johns news, disturbing/amusing photoshops, madlibs, internet finds, the beeboll guy, best-of-Harry-Solomon compilations, anti-Nigel rants, movie reviews, and photos of people receiving transmissions from the Big Giant head. Mostly that first and last bit, actually.

So, without further ado, enjoy! The first real post should be up within a few hours.