Turkey...No Turkey! Turkey...No Turkey! Turkey...and...No Turkey!

My internet today has been rather like the Harry quote referenced in the title...network, no network! and....no network! and...still no network! But finally it seems to be working because I unplugged my laptop and went somewhere else, so here's a sweet song from Michael's "The Rising" days:



This is actually one of their unreleased songs, though for the life of me I can't understand why they'd keep this hidden away while putting junk like "Yesterdays" on their album. I think the record company had quite a bit to do with that.

Tom, Dick, and Harry

This actually isn't a crazy coincidence...

because you know the idiom "every Tom, Dick, and Harry"? Meaning "the average guy"? Yeah. That's why they named the 3rd Rock characters that way. But still, it's very funny and apt.

A Dan Band Christmas

Oh god. This is too perfect. Just...wow. Try to spot all of the celebrities. One of them in particular. Who I don't think you'll miss. THANK YOU, DAN BAND! And there wasn't even any profanity this time!

From Crackle: "Please Don't Bomb Nobody This Holiday"

At the end, when the screen tips over? Guess who I can definitely hear laughing? Not Dan. Hahahahaha.

*Ironically, when I watched this on Crackle, there was one of those obnoxious looped video ads for Quantum of Solace playing, so I was hearing something like "Kill them with kindness..." *CRASH!* *BOOM!* *BURNING BUILDINGS!* until I figured out how to mute the ad.

Apoca-poca-lypse

(This is a guest post. If this is your first time visiting my blog, don't be alarmed. We don't bite. Unless you're a particularly tasty morsel of humanity.)

AMBUSH FROM DOWN UNDAH!!!!

YO THIS IS O.A.
COMIN' DOWN FROM HQ
AND IM HERE FROM DOWN UNDAH
JUST TO BE WITCHU

MAH ASSOCIATES BE HERE
ACTIN' AUSSIE
IN DA BOXES
IN DA BOXES
ACTIN' AUSSIE

(want more? yeah. that's what i thought. just wait....)

YOUR Hides Can Only Be Used to Make Coward Pants!

Grrr. It seems that the pictures of Michael at the 'Australia' premiere aren't showing up, so just go here and bring a drooble (remember that priceless combo?) :

http://michaeljohnsonline.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=293

On a side note, I really like this idea of naming random blog posts with 3rd Rock quotes. I should call the next Engrish post: And Yet, An Awful Amount of Chinese Seem to Choose to Live In China

BACON TIME!

You know what happens when you combine this:

http://michaeljohnsonline.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=293&pos=13

with this:

and a ridiculous amount of hard work that included disturbingly headless people and necks so distorted they could have been feet? A photoshop happens. Specifically, THIS happens.



Incidentally, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to see a movie like that because seriously- BACON!!!- and I'm very proud of myself. You know that font? It's just Arial Black. Yeah. Simple to copy. But then I saw the little white rims around the words and tried to emulate them on the "B" and "C", which took 30 minutes. No exaggeration. And now Blogger uploaded the image so small you CAN'T EVEN SEE MY HARD WORK! But seriously. Putting in the head took 5 minutes. Ironic.

I'm not even sure why I did this...I think Ancient Greece might have had something to do with it, though...

Well, That's News to ME!

You know another thing I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving? ENGRISH. Just enjoy.

When Harry Potter decided to take a more scholarly route in life...


Er...wise words?

Sometimes advertisements can be a little TOO truthful, you know?