Tuesday, November 25, 2008

For the love of all things Dan...Happy Dan Day!

For those who weren't immediately amused by the title of this post: I'm sorry. You're probably not going to find most of this funny, unless you just find the name "Dan" amusing in its own right. Feel free to scroll down to the video at the bottom if you lose track of my nonsensical ramblings.

I have officially decided that since we have a rather overflowing amount of inside jokes related to the various Dans/Dan noises, Tuesday will officially be Dan Day. Yes. When Chase kept saying "It's Tuesday!", he wasn't actually expressing his love for Cameron OR his skill at calendar-reading. Oh no.

But today I have learned, earth-shatteringly, there are many elements to the Dan folklore besides the bidelly-bobbelly-noises and gorillas and camping-supply stores. In fact, there is actually QUITE A LARGE NUMBER of people, places, and organizations titled with those three letters. For instance, there's Dan the Marxist revolutionary, an anarchist network that ended up dissolving into actual, you know, ANARCHY, and the lovely Dan River in Virginia:


I find it most suspicious that on the entire Official Dan River website, there is not a single picture of the actual river. Does it even exist? Maybe it's just slightly wet mud IN DISGUISE as a river.

Mm hmm.

Dan is also a kibbutz in northern Israel:

And to save the most amusing for last, there's a Divers Alert Network whose lovely website has such priceless phrases as:
"Join DAN Today!"
"DAN Medical Calls" (IS DAN A DOCTOR, TOO???)
"DAN Online Auction"
and
"DAN Members get more with TravelAssist."

You're welcome, people. By the way, did I mention how much I love Wikipedia disambiguation pages? Great stuff.

And now because I'm too lazy to do actual WORK and research more Dans for ya (or, you know, that humongous Ancient Greece project...), sit back and marvel at just how unfunny Jay Leno can be. I'm serious. He just IRRITATES me with his block-shaped jawline and constant preening. It's not just when he interrupts his guests in order to show off his brilliant humor that I'm annoyed; that opening skit would actually be kind of FUNNY if someone else were doing it.

Anyway. I better go back to researching Pericles and that stupid democracy stuff now. So enjoy the first- I kid you not- the first* video that came up when I searched "Dan" on Youtube.




*Nope, it certainly wasn't the FIRST first, but it was the first that somehow pertained to any inside joke and/or didn't consist of strange people staring vacantly into their webcams, which seems to be the majority of Youtube videos nowadays. Great. Now I sound old. And then, around page 3, Youtube decided to "translate" my search and it searched for "then" instead. Yes, Youtube. I accidentally misspelled "then" as "Dan". Thanks for clearing that up.

3 comments:

  1. "bond. *mumble* james *blush* bond." *pee pants* *GASP* *SOB* *SO EMBARRASSED* *HIDE ME* *CORNER!* "WAIT DON'T STEP THERE!" (other person: "wtf was that wet stuff...is...that...?") "NO! NO! IT WASN'T ME! I SWEAR! IM BOND! JAMES BOND. aaandddd start again!

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  2. "bond. *mumble* james *blush* bond." *pee pants* *GASP* *SOB* *SO EMBARRASSED* *HIDE ME* *CORNER!* "WAIT DON'T STEP THERE!" (other person: "wtf was that wet stuff...is...that...?") "NO! NO! IT WASN'T ME! I SWEAR! IM BOND! JAMES BOND. aaandddd start again!

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  3. Laaaaaaaayne? You kinda posted twice, and you really freaked me out the first time, coz I forgot your dad's name was Brooke and I was all, "ZOMG WHO IS THIS BROOKE PERSON AND HOW DOES SHE KNOW THIS?"

    Ahahaha. Thank you for bringing this genius comment over. Lolz.

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